Why Forgive? 5 thoughts that lead to self empowerment and freedom.
1. Forgiving. Life is “for-giving” love.
I first heard this phrase from the spiritual teacher Nithya Shanti. And I almost instantly felt an inner resistance. I could understand that life is to love, but to forgive? Forgive those who caused hurt to me? That was another story. Yet hidden behind the play of words of this phrase brought me face to face with the essential nature of things. It made me realize that not only is our life a channel to give love to others, but it is inherently interlinked with forgiving those that we perceive, have hurt us knowingly or unknowingly.
2. Every situation has atleast two perspectives
Often times we get stuck in ‘my way’ or ‘my perspective’. However, the knowing that every situation can be looked at from many perspectives, context and cultural lenses can allow us to release any residual feelings of heaviness or resentment.
3. If I had the same background, experience, environment and understanding as the other person, I would have thought, acted and reacted the same way.
I found this to be powerful thought. Rarely do we put ourselves in the other person’s shoes because all we know is ‘my feelings’ and ‘my story’. Rarely do we factor in the variables that make the other person act and react in ways that they do! Simply knowing that people have their own reasons to behave in the way that they do, which according to them is justified, is freeing in itself.
4. To Forgive is to Forget
To begin with, even the willingness to forgive, releases the heaviness surrounding a regrettable episode. Actual forgiveness occurs when we can no longer remember the regrettable episode or when the memory of the episode doesn’t trigger any negative feelings within us. In other words, we forget. Perhaps this is where the age old adage “Forgive and Forget’ comes from.
5. Giving the gift of freedom to oneself
By holding on to anger and resentment, we actually imprison ourself! We become a prisoner of our own mind. The mind- that is unwilling to forgive, the mind- that is unwilling to view all perspectives, the mind- that is fixated on a certain approach, the mind- that believes that justice is to be served by taking punitive action against the ‘wrong doer’.
In conclusion, forgiveness is good for your heart, your physical- mental health. It is essential for a good life. Practice it often.
